Am I emotionally ready for college?

Start doing more for yourself

What I mean by this is take the initiative, depend less on your parents, and begin to take more responsibility for your self. Don’t automatically turn to them as your default position because every time you do that, when you are capable of doing it for yourself or figuring it out, you tell yourself silently that you need help. If you have a recurring prescription, for example, don’t ask your mom to refill it for you, do it yourself. Begin to make your own appointments and go to some of them alone. Learn to cook some simple recipes. Go to the market to buy the ingredients. Learn to do laundry. Put gas in your car. Go to the car wash. Educate yourself on how to communicate more assertively. There are lots of books on the subject. Learn how to write a check. Use YouTube as a resource to learn what you don’t know. If you forget your assignment at home, don’t call your mom frantically from school asking her to email it to you or drop it off, accept that you forgot and accept the natural consequences of your mistake. You will be able to cope better when you are alone at college and things don’t always go the way you want. If you allow yourself to experience the natural consequences of your absentmindedness you will discover that even if it’s unpleasant you won’t melt like the witch in the wizard of oz. You will survive. Each time you endure a challenge you prove to yourself that you are a capable and competent person.

Having insight about the causes and origin of low self-esteem is necessary but not sufficient for change. Study what you have learned in this program about negative patterns of thinking and self-defeating behaviors. Think about your thoughts, so that you know them, and understand your feelings well enough to name them. Look at the difficulties in your relationships and don’t automatically assign blame but rather look more closely and examine how you behave when you feel vulnerable, and how you may contribute to the confusion and conflict in the relationship. Instead of being sad or regretful about mistakes and misunderstandings focus on solutions and problem solving so that you can do things differently. Practice the techniques that were introduced in this program to manage anxiety, and take active steps to become more independent and self-reliant. It is worth the effort, and as your self-reliance improves so will you self-esteem and you will begin to feel less anxious and depressed. You will come to see yourself as being perfectly adequate and you will be emotionally ready for college.

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